E103 Online Editing Exercise 1 (6 pts.)
Part One: Rewrite each passive sentence as active. (2 pts.)

1.	The changes in health benefits were resented by the employees.
2.	It was reported by Engineering that the new relay is defective.
3.	Your request cannot be accommodated at this time.
4.	Things are seen by the human eye in three dimensions: length, width, and depth.
Part Two: The first of the two following passages is written in a style that is brief, but not concise. As such, it is hard to read. Revise the passage by adding the missing articles, conjunctions, transitional expressions and the like. In the second of the two passages, the writer has attempted to pack too many ideas into a single sentence. The resulting sentence is too convoluted to understand. Translate and revise the sentence. (1 pt. each)
1.	Take following action when treating a serious burn. Remove loose clothing on/near burn. Cover injury with clean dressing and wash area around burn. Secure dressing with tape. Separate fingers/toes with gauze/cloth to prevent sticking. So not apply medication unless doctor prescribes. (Brusaw, Charles T. Gerald J. Alred, and Walter E. Oliu. Handbook of Technical Writing. New York: St. Martin’s, 1997.)
2.	My job objectives are accomplished by my having a diversified background which enables me to operate effectively and efficiently, consisting of a degree in computer science, along with twelve years of experience, including three years in packaging engineering, which provides me with a strong background in problem analysis and the assessing of economical and reasonable solutions. (Brusaw, Charles T. Gerald J. Alred, and Walter E. Oliu. The Technical Writer’s Companion. New York: St. Martin’s, 2002.)
Part Three: Revise the following sentences to eliminate jargon, cliché, affectation (such as vogue words and euphemisms), and wordiness. (2 pts.)
1.	The process would be more efficient if we would interface with the technical writers earlier in the product development cycle.
2.	Given that the bugs remaining in the application are few in number, let’s put maximum effort toward eliminating them altogether.
3.	All client constituencies are impacted negatively by a reduction in service.
4.	Eliminating workforce redundancies has incentivized our management team to maximize our existing employees’ core competencies.